19 Things I Think I Know

1. Regardless of how hard I try, I suck at texting and driving

2. The Wii Fit is cooler than I thought it would be

3. The iPod Touch is as cool as I thought it would be

4. Being overweight sucks, but not as much as the process necessary to lose the weight

5. A good bottle of wine can do wonders for your mood

6. Cashews are to nuts what an orgasm is to sex

7. Texting 'is' on my cell phone always comes up 'IP' and that chaps my ass

8. Metallica is back with a vengeance. Death Magnetic lives up to the hype.

9. Midgets are just reincarnated people whose parachutes didn't open in a previous life

10. The Office and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia are back tonight. (See #5)

11. Tomorrow is 70's day at the office (don't ask) does this mean I can go in stoned and listen to Pink Floyd all day?

12. The Steelers are better than I expected

13. My Dad is shocked that I will be 37 next week, he mentioned that his life was pretty much over by then. I'm fucked.

14. When the urologist asked how often I felt my testicles for irregularities, I said weekly because I thought that hourly would be too much information.

15. As much as I love music I will never be proficient at an actual instrument.

16. I saw the kid who keeps fucking with my lamp post this week. He pushes the sliding rod all the way to the right which aggravates my OCD, because it's supposed to be in the middle. I think I need to buy a paint ball gun and jack him up. Is that too aggressive?

17. I've only worked four days and I'm already out of clothes to wear.

18. My last statement was ultra-gay

19. It's a strip mall world and I live smack dab in the middle of it.

There you have my lazy Thursday post. If you wonder why I went with 19 instead of 20, it's because when I exaggerate anything I automatically use the number 19. For example at my Mom's house I might say something like "Holy shit there were like 19 dildos in her closet", when in fact there were only 5 or 6. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get back to my testicle inspection.

I did a search for "Paintball Kid" and this came up, so enjoy your Friday "Moment of Zen".