Hola Amigos,
I used to send out monthly music updates, but have decided to move my recommendations to this forum instead. Also, you can check out the right side of this page for my "Download These Songs Now" section. I'll change these out every month or so. All of these songs can be found in my GF if you want to try them out. If you don't have access to my GF shoot me an e-mail.
Without further delay here are my latest finds...
1. Okkervil River - "Plus Ones"
This song's lyrics are clever as it references other songs, but then adds 1, hence the title. For example they talk about the 100th luftballoon, the 4th time you were a lady, lighting the 17th candle, 51st way to leave your lover etc... If you like this tune then check out the others in my GF.
2. Lightspeed Champion - "Everyone I know is Listening to Crunk"
Kind of a Bright Eyes feel with a less whiny voice. Awesome album cover too! His other songs are similar and worth grabbing.
3. Dr. Dog - "Heart It Races"
I got this one off of a Paste Sampler and it has an infectious drive to it. For my money Paste Magazine is the best music mag. out there right now.
4. Matt Costa - "Mr. Pitiful"
His new disc just came out and I don't have it yet, but this tune is a great start. His EP's and SWS are in my GF and worth checking out. He is on Jack Johnson's label, but has a different style. By the way the new Jack Johnson comes out next Tuesday, and somehow hasn't leaked yet.
5. Quincy Coleman - "Baby Don't You Cry"
This is from the Waitress soundtrack and is on Amy's top tunes list. Well if she had a top tunes list it would be. Good little indy flick and the writer/director was murdered shortly after filming and her little girl appears at the end of the film. Worth renting.
6. Zero 7 - "Futures"
This has that 70's spacey air-like quality to it. Kind of like Pink Floyd meets Steely Dan with some Alan Parsons mixed in.
7. Josh Ritter - "The Temptation of Adam"
Josh boldly wears the singer-songwriter tag, and this song is one of his best from his last record.
8. Kate Nash - "Foundations"
Brit pop, with a cockney accent and cheeky lyrics. Look for her to start blowing up as Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse start to fade.
9. Bettye LaVette - "The Last Time"
Tina Turner is that you? Smokey, bluesy, old soul appeal. Bring it Bettye!
10. Animal Liberation Orchestra (ALO) - "Lady Loop"
Jam band pick of the month. I don't think I've actually heard an ALO song that I didn't like, and this is no exception.
By the way if you missed my top 10 albums of 2007:
1. Spoon - GA GA GA GA GA (Top Track: The Underdog)
2. Ryan Adams - Easy Tiger (Top Track: Two)
3. Modest Mouse - We Were Dead (Top Track: Missed the Boat)
4. White Stripes - Icky Thump (Top Track: Icky Thump)
5. The National - Boxer (Top Track: Fake Empire)
6. Bright Eyes - Cassadaga (Top Track: Classic Cars)
7. John Butler Trio - Grand National (Top Track: Used to Get High)
8. Wilco - Sky Blue Sky (Top Track: Hate it Here)
9. The Fratellis - Costello Music (Top Track: Chelsea Dagger)
10. Brandi Carlile - The Story (Top Track: The Story)
Honorable Mentions: Xavier Rudd - White Moth and Ben Harper - Lifeline
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Costco - A Rant
I go to Costco on average for 4 or 5 things, and I usually go on the weekends. Here is a quick re-creation of my weekly visit:
In the tradition of Dennis Miller...
Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but Costco on the weekends is more aggravating than trying to play hide and seek with Helen Keller. The anger level begins to rise as soon as you get into the parking lot. You have a line of mini-vans waiting for a space and blocking the entire lane, while joe small business owner loads his vehicle with so many supplies that he looks like he's going on a UN mission to Nigeria. Finally, you get a space so far away that you need binoculars to see a store that is the size of Wembley stadium. Can I catch a shuttle to the store because I'm not really up for doing a 5K this morning?
Ok, so now you finally get to the entrance and it's complete mayhem. People are coming out in droves, you are digging through your wallet for the damn membership card that says "Yes I pay $50 a year to come in and buy shit from you." and the cart guy is pushing 9 million carts in from the parking lot in one long row that also jacks up the parking lot flow. Then as soon as you get past the ID checker the asshole in front of you stops and looks around like a tourist at Macchu Picchu. The lady to his left stops right beside him to load her 5 kids into the cart and the old guy on the right stops and stares at the plasma TV's like he's in the cockpit of the Starship Enterprise. And there you are knowing exactly where you want to go and what you want to buy and you're facing the defensive line of the 70's Steelers.
Twenty minutes into your Costco trip and you are finally into the store. You get about 10 steps in and bam you come to a grinding halt, because there is a free sample lady handing out tunafish on a cracker. People start losing their shit. OOOH I gotta have me some of that. I gotta have it so much that I'll abandon my cart in the middle of the aisle and stand there and eat this cracker. Like they've never had tunafish on a cracker before. Then they make the face, like wow that is good, what's on that again? Tunafish? Amazing! What aisle has the case of tunafish? And where can I find the crackers? Hey jagoff get your cart out of the aisle so that I can grab my 4 items and get the fuck out of this place.
I finally get back into the bakery area and what do I see? Chocolate versions of the Capitol building that are almost life size. Even Augustus from Willie Wonka couldn't finish one of these. And who buys these things? Is that really what you get your kids for Easter? Hey kids, yeah no bunny this year, no colored eggs, no Jesus rising from the dead, just a life-size version of the place where bills become laws. Oh I'm just a bill, yes only a bill and I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill.
Thirty-five minutes into the trip and I have steaks, wine and I'm making the turn to come down the home stretch to get cereal and diapers, when I see the lady serving crabcakes at the end of the frozen food aisle. Yes! Score! I am so getting hooked up. I see the tray with 4 left and only one guy in front of me. He stands there and eats one, then he eats two and I'm getting a little impatient, then he grabs the last two and takes them over to his wife. Dude? WTF? The jerk store called and said they're out of you. No way am I waiting for 100 year-old Grandma Moses to open a new package and bake a new batch. Looks like I am-a-no-getting-a-no crabcakes today.
Steaks, wine, cereal and diapers, check-check-check-check. Time to get in line, if only they had an express lane, but of course they don't. Now getting in line on a busy Saturday is like making a pit stop at the Indy 500. You dodge, you weave and finally land in a line behind someone who looks quick, but ends up being a nightmare. Her transaction goes something like this: "Honey have you seen my card? I had it when we came in? Did I leave it in the dog food aisle? Oh nevermind it was in my pocket. HAHAHA it was in my pocket. Ma'am your total is $69.73. Ok, let me write a check. Harold, what's the date? Ooops I wrote 2007 on this one. I guess I'd better write you a new one. I can't believe it's 2008 already, time sure does fly. Those crackers and tunafish were delicious, weren't they?" Hey lady, being behind you, I can attest that time certainly does not fly, in fact it almost stands still. In the time it's taken you to get through the checkout process, I could have played a game of Risk from start to finish.
Yes! I am on my way out. Only one more obstacle, the check your receipt against your cart guy. Will I get the I don't give a shit guy who looks for 2 seconds and marks your receipt or will I get the must check every item guy. Of course I get the latter and because I have Maggie with me he has to mark the receipt with a smiley face. Yo dude, I know you don't have anywhere to go, but my kid hasn't eaten in 3 hours and is about to lose it, so you can skip the smiley face.
In the tradition of Dennis Miller...
Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but Costco on the weekends is more aggravating than trying to play hide and seek with Helen Keller. The anger level begins to rise as soon as you get into the parking lot. You have a line of mini-vans waiting for a space and blocking the entire lane, while joe small business owner loads his vehicle with so many supplies that he looks like he's going on a UN mission to Nigeria. Finally, you get a space so far away that you need binoculars to see a store that is the size of Wembley stadium. Can I catch a shuttle to the store because I'm not really up for doing a 5K this morning?
Ok, so now you finally get to the entrance and it's complete mayhem. People are coming out in droves, you are digging through your wallet for the damn membership card that says "Yes I pay $50 a year to come in and buy shit from you." and the cart guy is pushing 9 million carts in from the parking lot in one long row that also jacks up the parking lot flow. Then as soon as you get past the ID checker the asshole in front of you stops and looks around like a tourist at Macchu Picchu. The lady to his left stops right beside him to load her 5 kids into the cart and the old guy on the right stops and stares at the plasma TV's like he's in the cockpit of the Starship Enterprise. And there you are knowing exactly where you want to go and what you want to buy and you're facing the defensive line of the 70's Steelers.
Twenty minutes into your Costco trip and you are finally into the store. You get about 10 steps in and bam you come to a grinding halt, because there is a free sample lady handing out tunafish on a cracker. People start losing their shit. OOOH I gotta have me some of that. I gotta have it so much that I'll abandon my cart in the middle of the aisle and stand there and eat this cracker. Like they've never had tunafish on a cracker before. Then they make the face, like wow that is good, what's on that again? Tunafish? Amazing! What aisle has the case of tunafish? And where can I find the crackers? Hey jagoff get your cart out of the aisle so that I can grab my 4 items and get the fuck out of this place.
I finally get back into the bakery area and what do I see? Chocolate versions of the Capitol building that are almost life size. Even Augustus from Willie Wonka couldn't finish one of these. And who buys these things? Is that really what you get your kids for Easter? Hey kids, yeah no bunny this year, no colored eggs, no Jesus rising from the dead, just a life-size version of the place where bills become laws. Oh I'm just a bill, yes only a bill and I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill.
Thirty-five minutes into the trip and I have steaks, wine and I'm making the turn to come down the home stretch to get cereal and diapers, when I see the lady serving crabcakes at the end of the frozen food aisle. Yes! Score! I am so getting hooked up. I see the tray with 4 left and only one guy in front of me. He stands there and eats one, then he eats two and I'm getting a little impatient, then he grabs the last two and takes them over to his wife. Dude? WTF? The jerk store called and said they're out of you. No way am I waiting for 100 year-old Grandma Moses to open a new package and bake a new batch. Looks like I am-a-no-getting-a-no crabcakes today.
Steaks, wine, cereal and diapers, check-check-check-check. Time to get in line, if only they had an express lane, but of course they don't. Now getting in line on a busy Saturday is like making a pit stop at the Indy 500. You dodge, you weave and finally land in a line behind someone who looks quick, but ends up being a nightmare. Her transaction goes something like this: "Honey have you seen my card? I had it when we came in? Did I leave it in the dog food aisle? Oh nevermind it was in my pocket. HAHAHA it was in my pocket. Ma'am your total is $69.73. Ok, let me write a check. Harold, what's the date? Ooops I wrote 2007 on this one. I guess I'd better write you a new one. I can't believe it's 2008 already, time sure does fly. Those crackers and tunafish were delicious, weren't they?" Hey lady, being behind you, I can attest that time certainly does not fly, in fact it almost stands still. In the time it's taken you to get through the checkout process, I could have played a game of Risk from start to finish.
Yes! I am on my way out. Only one more obstacle, the check your receipt against your cart guy. Will I get the I don't give a shit guy who looks for 2 seconds and marks your receipt or will I get the must check every item guy. Of course I get the latter and because I have Maggie with me he has to mark the receipt with a smiley face. Yo dude, I know you don't have anywhere to go, but my kid hasn't eaten in 3 hours and is about to lose it, so you can skip the smiley face.
Ok, where the hell did I park again? Oh yeah, right beside the Griswalds in Wally World lot 3 row S. After doing my second 5 K of the day I reach my car, throw the box of loose items, that always seems to weigh more than it should, into the trunk and after dodging more carts and cars we're on our way home. I look over at Amy and using my Count from Sesame Street voice I say 143 - ah-ah-ah. For whatever reason I always count the Asians I see in costco and then use my count voice. Another one of my OCD qualities, it amuses me anyway.
That about does it for my Costco rant. I'm going to take a valium, have a glass of red wine and try to bring my internal anger alert system back down to yellow.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Sickness and Death
The sickness has gripped the Crawford house. Amy, Maggie and I, all laying in bed at 6:00 in the morning coughing like we're at a cystic fibrosis foundation meeting. Hacking up flem like a scene from "The Exorcist" and waking up with throats hurting worse than a $2 whore on spring break.
Which brings me to my nasal spray dilemma. It says on the bottle do not use for more than 3-5 days. After 4 days of breathing freely I stop using it, and the oompa loompas in my head go into snot production overdrive. I suffer for 4 days and now I am back on the spray. My dilemma is; How long do you have to wait to start using it again? Will I become addicted? Is it going to jack up my nasal passages? My inner hypochondriac is running wild with possible side effects, but for now I am back on the juice. Maybe I really did catch something in New Orleans. (If you have any advice leave me a comment.)
Gay men who have crushes on hunky straight actors suffered two blows this week. Well, probably more than that, but I'm talking about the loss of actors Brad Renfro and Heath ledger. Renfro can be seen dancing at a gay bar in just his whitey-tighties with other underage teases in the film "Bully", and Ledger, well you know where I'm going with this one. Fingers crossed and pants around the ankles, Jake Gyllenhall and shirtless wonder Matthew McConaughey are still alive, so all is not lost. Although, I guess if you're a star-loving necrophiliac you're having the best week ever! And don't think I forgot about you, Suzanne Pleshette. When you said you'd die to have a threesome with Renfro and Ledger I guess you meant it. Make it happen Mrs. Newhart.
Finally, I'll leave you with a little advice my grandfather gave me when I was in first grade.
"Son, if you see a tall man dressed in yellow being followed by a monkey, fear not, they are just curious. If they try and kiss both you and your girlfriend, fear not, they are just bi-curious. If the man dressed in yellow starts hitting his little buddy, fear not, sometimes a man just needs to spank the monkey. And last but not least, if you see only one set of footprints in the sandbox, fear not, that is where the lord carried you. Now go get me a beer so I can work up the courage to bang your grandmother."
Ok, is it weird that the Jack Johnson "Curious George" soundtrack came on as I was writing that last paragraph? That's an 11 in 7832 chance. My iPod really scares me sometimes.
Quote of the week:
"I'm back, like a bad penny!"
- Jeff Conaway
Celebrity Rehab
Which brings me to my nasal spray dilemma. It says on the bottle do not use for more than 3-5 days. After 4 days of breathing freely I stop using it, and the oompa loompas in my head go into snot production overdrive. I suffer for 4 days and now I am back on the spray. My dilemma is; How long do you have to wait to start using it again? Will I become addicted? Is it going to jack up my nasal passages? My inner hypochondriac is running wild with possible side effects, but for now I am back on the juice. Maybe I really did catch something in New Orleans. (If you have any advice leave me a comment.)
Gay men who have crushes on hunky straight actors suffered two blows this week. Well, probably more than that, but I'm talking about the loss of actors Brad Renfro and Heath ledger. Renfro can be seen dancing at a gay bar in just his whitey-tighties with other underage teases in the film "Bully", and Ledger, well you know where I'm going with this one. Fingers crossed and pants around the ankles, Jake Gyllenhall and shirtless wonder Matthew McConaughey are still alive, so all is not lost. Although, I guess if you're a star-loving necrophiliac you're having the best week ever! And don't think I forgot about you, Suzanne Pleshette. When you said you'd die to have a threesome with Renfro and Ledger I guess you meant it. Make it happen Mrs. Newhart.
Finally, I'll leave you with a little advice my grandfather gave me when I was in first grade.
"Son, if you see a tall man dressed in yellow being followed by a monkey, fear not, they are just curious. If they try and kiss both you and your girlfriend, fear not, they are just bi-curious. If the man dressed in yellow starts hitting his little buddy, fear not, sometimes a man just needs to spank the monkey. And last but not least, if you see only one set of footprints in the sandbox, fear not, that is where the lord carried you. Now go get me a beer so I can work up the courage to bang your grandmother."
Ok, is it weird that the Jack Johnson "Curious George" soundtrack came on as I was writing that last paragraph? That's an 11 in 7832 chance. My iPod really scares me sometimes.
Quote of the week:
"I'm back, like a bad penny!"
- Jeff Conaway
Celebrity Rehab
Friday, January 18, 2008
The Big Easy Hair
Before we get into this week's main topic, I want to take a moment to express some appreciation for my hair. During my last trip to the Hair Cuttery I asked them to put down the clippers and only work with scissors. The result was a little dikey, let's just say I would have fit right in hanging out in the LPGA club house. When I got back to the office I didn't have any gel, so in a desperate move I tried some Purell, which gave it that tingly alcohol smell, but didn't exactly help my lesbionic sheen. Now that it has been 4 weeks my hair has evolved into the realm of Patrick Swayze circa the mid to late 80's. A little Selsun Blue and ton of mousse and I am ready to make pottery with Demi Moore.
While I may not have the movie star looks to fight guerilla warfare against the Russians, shake my moneymaker in the Catskills or beat up on some good old boys down at the road house, there is little doubt that I could be a body double for his hair. And for the record "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
And now for something completely different...
The crescent city, the big easy, chocolate city, mother nature's toilet bowl, that's right I'm talking about New Orleans. Earlier this week I was lucky enough to visit this gem on the Mississippi River for the first time. My company's annual sales kickoff was being held in the city filled with people that as Kanye says "I ain't messin' wit no gold digger" no, not that, the other thing "George Bush hates black people!" That's the one.
Night 1:
Dinner on Bourbon street. We stroll past the restaurants, live sex shows, international houses of touristy crap and arrive at our destination. Live Zydeco music is playing and there's a buffet, but the hurricanes are being served in the bar and that is where the line is the longest. No matter how many times management warns us to go easy on night one and tear it up on night two, it never really works out that way. Everyone is getting lit and we have access to a balcony onto Bourbon street so the bead tossing olympics begin.
Unfortunately, it is a cold Monday night so it's slim pickins. We get a lot of older tourists who would have to undo their pants to flash us. The game changes from trying to get flashed to trying to get the beads in people's beers. A female middle-aged project manager to my left spies an Asian kid and let's me know she has him dialed in. Away they go and bam the kid takes a shot to the noggin. He looks up, smiles and continues on his way. Balcony bead bombers 1 unsuspecting passer-by 0.
This is entertaining for about 5 minutes and then it becomes boring, so we go back inside for more music and hurricanes. As the party winds down a different female co-worker wants to hit up the live sex show across the street and a couple of us oblige to join her. Surprise! It's not a sex show at all, but a low budget strip club that makes the Tuesday night Hooters girls in Sheboygan, Wisconsin look like super models. Unless C-section scars and ridiculously bad boob jobs are your thing, this place is about as exciting as watching Terri Schiavo get a sponge bath.
We hang out a bit, sip our $10 beers and then realize that one of our crew has gone missing. I check the bathroom, and then make the big mistake of going upstairs. I find a slew of filthy rooms and couches that looks like a frat house on Saturday night. Black lights would make this place look like a crime scene from Scarface. I make my way downstairs and eventually we leave, sans one co-worker.
The meetings start early the next day, so we call it a night. The next morning the missing co-worker doesn't show up for the first speaker, which by the way was Sir Edmund Hillary's son who made us all feel like we were wasting our lives in the corporate world. That dude has climbed all of the major mountains including Everest twice and has been to both poles. I've been as far north as Niagara Falls and as far south as Tijuana, Mexico. I don't think he would be as impressed with my travel stories as I was with his. I digress. Anyway, after Peter Hillary finishes I get the call from the missing co-worker. He apparently gave back several hurricanes to the New Orleans streets before being helped back to the hotel by some black girl who wouldn't let him sleep on the sidewalk. Big props to chocolate city for their hospitality.
Night 2:
We put on our best suits and dresses and wait in our hotel rooms for a knock at the door. Marketing is getting all "Eyes Wide Shut" on us tonight by providing colorful masks and withholding details about the evening. We are greeted by a festively dressed, clown-like person who then leads our entire group of about 110 people to an old 18th century building where a dixie-land band plays and we again get into hurricane mode.
After happy hour we walk onto the street and there are police cars with the lights and sirens going. Everyone has on boa's, masks and beads and we instantly become a Mardi Gras parade led by the band. We end up at Arnaud's and have the annual awards dinner and banquet. Being crushed from the night before the festivities peter out and I head back to the hotel to get some sleep before flying home the next day.
I can now check New Orleans off the list of cities I have not yet visited, and I will be scheduling a doctor's appointment to make sure I didn't catch anything from Bourbon street.
While I may not have the movie star looks to fight guerilla warfare against the Russians, shake my moneymaker in the Catskills or beat up on some good old boys down at the road house, there is little doubt that I could be a body double for his hair. And for the record "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
And now for something completely different...
The crescent city, the big easy, chocolate city, mother nature's toilet bowl, that's right I'm talking about New Orleans. Earlier this week I was lucky enough to visit this gem on the Mississippi River for the first time. My company's annual sales kickoff was being held in the city filled with people that as Kanye says "I ain't messin' wit no gold digger" no, not that, the other thing "George Bush hates black people!" That's the one.
Night 1:
Dinner on Bourbon street. We stroll past the restaurants, live sex shows, international houses of touristy crap and arrive at our destination. Live Zydeco music is playing and there's a buffet, but the hurricanes are being served in the bar and that is where the line is the longest. No matter how many times management warns us to go easy on night one and tear it up on night two, it never really works out that way. Everyone is getting lit and we have access to a balcony onto Bourbon street so the bead tossing olympics begin.
Unfortunately, it is a cold Monday night so it's slim pickins. We get a lot of older tourists who would have to undo their pants to flash us. The game changes from trying to get flashed to trying to get the beads in people's beers. A female middle-aged project manager to my left spies an Asian kid and let's me know she has him dialed in. Away they go and bam the kid takes a shot to the noggin. He looks up, smiles and continues on his way. Balcony bead bombers 1 unsuspecting passer-by 0.
This is entertaining for about 5 minutes and then it becomes boring, so we go back inside for more music and hurricanes. As the party winds down a different female co-worker wants to hit up the live sex show across the street and a couple of us oblige to join her. Surprise! It's not a sex show at all, but a low budget strip club that makes the Tuesday night Hooters girls in Sheboygan, Wisconsin look like super models. Unless C-section scars and ridiculously bad boob jobs are your thing, this place is about as exciting as watching Terri Schiavo get a sponge bath.
We hang out a bit, sip our $10 beers and then realize that one of our crew has gone missing. I check the bathroom, and then make the big mistake of going upstairs. I find a slew of filthy rooms and couches that looks like a frat house on Saturday night. Black lights would make this place look like a crime scene from Scarface. I make my way downstairs and eventually we leave, sans one co-worker.
The meetings start early the next day, so we call it a night. The next morning the missing co-worker doesn't show up for the first speaker, which by the way was Sir Edmund Hillary's son who made us all feel like we were wasting our lives in the corporate world. That dude has climbed all of the major mountains including Everest twice and has been to both poles. I've been as far north as Niagara Falls and as far south as Tijuana, Mexico. I don't think he would be as impressed with my travel stories as I was with his. I digress. Anyway, after Peter Hillary finishes I get the call from the missing co-worker. He apparently gave back several hurricanes to the New Orleans streets before being helped back to the hotel by some black girl who wouldn't let him sleep on the sidewalk. Big props to chocolate city for their hospitality.
Night 2:
We put on our best suits and dresses and wait in our hotel rooms for a knock at the door. Marketing is getting all "Eyes Wide Shut" on us tonight by providing colorful masks and withholding details about the evening. We are greeted by a festively dressed, clown-like person who then leads our entire group of about 110 people to an old 18th century building where a dixie-land band plays and we again get into hurricane mode.
After happy hour we walk onto the street and there are police cars with the lights and sirens going. Everyone has on boa's, masks and beads and we instantly become a Mardi Gras parade led by the band. We end up at Arnaud's and have the annual awards dinner and banquet. Being crushed from the night before the festivities peter out and I head back to the hotel to get some sleep before flying home the next day.
I can now check New Orleans off the list of cities I have not yet visited, and I will be scheduling a doctor's appointment to make sure I didn't catch anything from Bourbon street.
Friday, January 11, 2008
OCD easy as 1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3
I'm a tool for many reasons, like the fact that I tivo Jon&Kate Plus 8 every Monday night, or that I secretly enjoy Dido, but my OCD tops the list for dumb things that I have to do daily.
1. All of the change in my car has to be head's up. I actually spend time arranging coins to ensure a safe transportation experience. I even spend time arranging the change in other people's cars. Shoot me now!
2. All of the bills in my wallet need to be in order from smaller to larger denominations. All bills must face the same way and older bills need to be in the back. It takes me a good 10 minutes at the ATM to get this transaction in order.
3. Whenever I even think about a cop on the highway I need to tap my crotch 3 times, signifying knocking on wood, so that I don't get a ticket. "Excuse me officer but you can put your pad away because I clearly tapped my crotch 3 times so this ticket is void."
4. If I see an Acura car on the road I need to say the South Park line "Acura's are good cars" from the halloween epsiode last year. Amy hates this one, so I have to say it quietly to myself when she's in the car.
5. Whenever I go through intersections in the car I tap the steering wheel at the first cross walk to open "the door"and then tap it as much as possible before I tap it for the final time at the other cross walk to "close the door". I don't know how or why this one started, but it's one I wish I could stop doing.
6. When I get to work and have everything set up, I rub the bottom of this Iranian figurine that sits on my desk 3 times to start my day.
7. Steelers - I pick one hat and one towel and I have to use those for the entire season. This year I wore a hat for 3 games and that resulted in 3 losses to the Cardinals, Jets and Jags. Those losses were my bad.
8. My terrible towel has to be folded a different way for each quarter and needs to be 'reset' if it gets touched. Reset = swipe hand across it 1/2 way to the left, 1/2 way to the right and then one sweeping swipe across the whole towel, then pushed up and down 3 times. I get a ton of shit, and a bunch of crazy looks for this one.
9. During the Steeler's seasons when I do wear a hat, I have to wear it forward for offense and backward for defense. This one isn't my fault though, I got it from a Steelers bar in Eastern Maryland.
10. In the shower I have to count to ten in German, Spanish, French and English before I can get out and dry off. I've been doing this one, ein, uno, un, since high school.
So there you have it, my top 10 OCD activities that waste hours of my time every year. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go and organize my spices into alphabetical order.
I know a lot of you have little quirks, and you can leave a comment if you want to contribute your OCD experiences.
1. All of the change in my car has to be head's up. I actually spend time arranging coins to ensure a safe transportation experience. I even spend time arranging the change in other people's cars. Shoot me now!
2. All of the bills in my wallet need to be in order from smaller to larger denominations. All bills must face the same way and older bills need to be in the back. It takes me a good 10 minutes at the ATM to get this transaction in order.
3. Whenever I even think about a cop on the highway I need to tap my crotch 3 times, signifying knocking on wood, so that I don't get a ticket. "Excuse me officer but you can put your pad away because I clearly tapped my crotch 3 times so this ticket is void."
4. If I see an Acura car on the road I need to say the South Park line "Acura's are good cars" from the halloween epsiode last year. Amy hates this one, so I have to say it quietly to myself when she's in the car.
5. Whenever I go through intersections in the car I tap the steering wheel at the first cross walk to open "the door"and then tap it as much as possible before I tap it for the final time at the other cross walk to "close the door". I don't know how or why this one started, but it's one I wish I could stop doing.
6. When I get to work and have everything set up, I rub the bottom of this Iranian figurine that sits on my desk 3 times to start my day.
7. Steelers - I pick one hat and one towel and I have to use those for the entire season. This year I wore a hat for 3 games and that resulted in 3 losses to the Cardinals, Jets and Jags. Those losses were my bad.
8. My terrible towel has to be folded a different way for each quarter and needs to be 'reset' if it gets touched. Reset = swipe hand across it 1/2 way to the left, 1/2 way to the right and then one sweeping swipe across the whole towel, then pushed up and down 3 times. I get a ton of shit, and a bunch of crazy looks for this one.
9. During the Steeler's seasons when I do wear a hat, I have to wear it forward for offense and backward for defense. This one isn't my fault though, I got it from a Steelers bar in Eastern Maryland.
10. In the shower I have to count to ten in German, Spanish, French and English before I can get out and dry off. I've been doing this one, ein, uno, un, since high school.
So there you have it, my top 10 OCD activities that waste hours of my time every year. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go and organize my spices into alphabetical order.
I know a lot of you have little quirks, and you can leave a comment if you want to contribute your OCD experiences.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Welcome Back My Friends...
This is the theme to Erik's blog,
The theme to Erik's blog.
Erik called me up and asked if I would write his blog theme.
I'm almost halfway finished, How do you like it so far?
How do you like the theme to Erik's blog?
This is the theme to Erik's blog, The opening theme to Erik's blog.
These are the words that you read for the first post in his blog.
We're almost to the part of where I start to whistle.
Then we'll read "It's Erik Crawford's blog".
This was the theme to Erik Crawford's blog.
Going deep into the land of lost sitcoms for that one, but if you're going to navigate the inner workings of my neuro-landscape via this blog, then you're going to need to be well versed in pop culture.
For those of you who had a feeling that something was missing this holiday season, something wasn't quite right, something was askew if you will, then you must have missed my annual x-mas letter. My PR answer was that 9 years was a good place to end the streak, but the truth is I was lazy this year. I have a new gig where I write the corporate blog, I have a new house where I seem to be constantly wiring light fixtures, and I have the new kid who needs more attention than Britney Spears. I didn't run into prostitutes in Atlantic City or interview any rock stars at Lollapalozza this year, so the material for my letter would have been limited to parental strife, and I decided to save that for this blog. I will try and write at least one entry per week, so instead of one long letter in December you can get a weekly dose of semi-coherent musings.
Lucky you!
OK, now that we're moved in and getting acquainted, like the first episode of a Real World season, I'd like to officially welcome you all to the ramblings of a suburban middle-aged white man. Prepare to see what happens when I stop being polite and start getting real. Now let's all get drunk and play truth or dare in the hot tub.
This season on Craw's Words you'll get new music reviews, somewhat amusing anecdotes, Maggie updates and much more.
Stay Tuned...
The theme to Erik's blog.
Erik called me up and asked if I would write his blog theme.
I'm almost halfway finished, How do you like it so far?
How do you like the theme to Erik's blog?
This is the theme to Erik's blog, The opening theme to Erik's blog.
These are the words that you read for the first post in his blog.
We're almost to the part of where I start to whistle.
Then we'll read "It's Erik Crawford's blog".
This was the theme to Erik Crawford's blog.
Going deep into the land of lost sitcoms for that one, but if you're going to navigate the inner workings of my neuro-landscape via this blog, then you're going to need to be well versed in pop culture.
For those of you who had a feeling that something was missing this holiday season, something wasn't quite right, something was askew if you will, then you must have missed my annual x-mas letter. My PR answer was that 9 years was a good place to end the streak, but the truth is I was lazy this year. I have a new gig where I write the corporate blog, I have a new house where I seem to be constantly wiring light fixtures, and I have the new kid who needs more attention than Britney Spears. I didn't run into prostitutes in Atlantic City or interview any rock stars at Lollapalozza this year, so the material for my letter would have been limited to parental strife, and I decided to save that for this blog. I will try and write at least one entry per week, so instead of one long letter in December you can get a weekly dose of semi-coherent musings.
Lucky you!
OK, now that we're moved in and getting acquainted, like the first episode of a Real World season, I'd like to officially welcome you all to the ramblings of a suburban middle-aged white man. Prepare to see what happens when I stop being polite and start getting real. Now let's all get drunk and play truth or dare in the hot tub.
This season on Craw's Words you'll get new music reviews, somewhat amusing anecdotes, Maggie updates and much more.
Stay Tuned...
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