Wanted Man

Being the ultimate American consumer I am always looking for the next bigger and better thing. Here is a list of things that currently reside on my top 5 most wanted list. (Keep in mind these are attainable wants and not genie wishes. No lamp rubbing here, just a few more payments and I can get these out of layaway.)
---
1. iPod Touch. A friend of mine just hooked one of these and I am extremely jealous. I wanna iPod touch myself whenever I see it sitting in his office. The problem with the Touch is that when it comes to iPods, size really does matter. 32GB just doesn't cut it, when I currently have over 41GB of audio on my current iPod. Throw in some video and photos and I am way over the limit. C'mon Apple get in the game, I am a guy with small hands and small feet, so you know what that means, I need a big black iPod to feel adequate.

2. Wii Fit. The wife actually wants this a little more than I do, because let's face it, the Wii Fit is kind of a chicky gadget. That being said, my six pack is more like a keg, and I need Google maps to wipe my ass these days, so I could use some motivation in the exercise department. If I get Wii Fit and Wii Tan do you think I could look like this guy by the holidays?



3. Philips Soundbar. I may need to change my underwear after describing this one. Surround sound in one long speaker, a sub, a built in DVD player and an iPod dock. It eliminates 5 speakers, the amplifier, DVD player and iPod connection. If it would go down on me I'd probably marry it. Ever since my brother-in-law, Bruce, got one I don't think he's left the house.

4. Ballpark Burger just released a Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburger. I'm sure it will get me one step closer to having my first stent procedure, but damn if I don't want to try one of these. I'm a big salty/sweet kind of guy, french fries with a frosty, chocolate covered pretzels, whipped cream and sweaty cleavage are all aces in my book. Maybe if I get the Wii Fit I can justify trying one of these.


5. Matthew McConaughey Acting Class. I've always wanted to take an acting class and I think that I would be more popular in the beach communities and with the younger ladies if I had acting chops like Mr. McConaughey. "Alright, that's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older and they stay the same age."


There you have it my top 5 most wanted list for July 2008. Touch me, fit me, surround me, feed me and teach me. Alright, alright, alright...coool!