Hope I Die Before I Get Old

Today is officially patio day at the Crawford house. We are having stamped concrete and a three foot wall built out back to give Maggie a place to play, and us a place to drink. It's weird what you get excited about or at least talk about as adults, the weather, home repairs, the price of gas, all of which meant shit to you when you were a kid. Sometimes during these inane conversations I have to actually step back and think to myself, was I actually just going on and on about window treatments for the last 10 minutes? I used to get excited about concerts, chicks and soccer games, now I get excited over cement, wood blinds and a thunderstorm warning.

Speaking of concerts and weather, remember when you had to wait outside overnight at the mall for tickets? I did it three times, twice for Rush and once for the Who. I got front row for Rush and 7th row seats for the Who, so I guess it was worth it. You'd freeze all night outside, and then some rent-a-cop, mall guard would let you inside around 6:00 AM and you'd sit slumped against the record store's chain door, staring at the Orange Julius across the way, until some pimply-faced kid would come in and fire up the Ticket Master computer. Oh, what the kids these days are missing out on. When we hung out for Rush the first time, it snowed and we were the only ones in line until 3:00 AM. I can't think of a single thing I would stay up all night outside in the snow for these days, not even a free steak and a blow job could get me to freeze my ass off. God bless the internet!

Try as I might, I definitely feel my youth slipping away. I don't see as many movies or go to as many concerts as I used to. I've been to Pottery Barn more than I've been to Best Buy this year, and the Wiggles are getting more and more air time in my truck as Radiohead is getting less and less. I can't remember the last time I was up after 1:00 AM and I get winded after a game of Wii Tennis. I wake up in the morning with aches in strange places, then I have to retrace the previous day to try and figure out how I hurt myself. Wow, my hip really hurts, did I stretch it out reaching for the milk on the top shelf of the fridge or was it when leaned forward to grab the remote off of the coffee table? Maybe it was when Amy called my name and I turned around too fast. I can't wait to tell that story at work on Monday when my co-workers ask why I'm limping around. "Yeah, I was walking down the hall and Amy said 'Erik!' and I turned around and bickety-bam, there goes my hip. By the way do you think I should put plantation shutters in the bay window or sea foam drapes?"

Neil Young said "It's better to burn out than to fade away", the Who said "I hope I die before I get old" and I say "Punch me in the junk if I ever utter the words 'fabulous throw pillows.'"