Intergalactic Planetary

Well, well, well, I hope that most of you enjoyed the spring-like weather today. I was in the bowels of Reston Hospital submitting my child to the E.N.T. gods. As with most couples, my wife is the nurturer and I am assigned the dirty work. So Amy got to hold Maggie all day, then I came in and took her to the O.R.

Before I was able to go into the operating area I had to put on a rockin' see-through jumpsuit. As I was suiting up, I looked at Amy and said "How awesome would it be if I were naked underneath? Just walking around pediatrics in my see-through jump suit waving to everyone like Bozo the clown on Saturday Morning TV." She said, that would so not be awesome, and might even be a felony. So I aborted the plan and posed for some Beastie Boys inspired photos instead.



In the O.R. Maggie got the gas, but it wasn't sealed tight, so I got a nice inhalation of the magic vapors. As I was fighting through the knockout gas, this cougar of a nurse was pressed against me holding the mask and my hands were inches from her "area". Now, I'm trying my hardest to be an adult, but in my head I'm just thinking, aaaaaawkward! A few seconds later Maggie was on the table in la la land, the cougar nurse was setting up shop, and I was headed for the door.

I got some lunch with the wife, while Maggie got her surgery on. After an about 90 minutes she was done, and so were we. Time to roll on up to the room. WTF? This was no Loudoun hospital. No flat screens, no DVD players and no PS3's. Just a 15" TV and a VCR. A fucking VCR! How am I supposed to watch Survivor on this thing? C'mon Reston, let's get in the game. How is a child supposed to heal under these conditions? How can a child truly mend it's broken spirit watching 1980's VHS tapes of violent cartoons? The Horror! The Horror!

Well, that about does it from here. Maggie survived the long day, as did we. Amy is in for a rough night at the hospital, while I am at home writing to all of you. In a few days her drain will be out and the final healing will begin. Hopefully, by the time her birthday rolls around at the end of the month this will all be a distant memory, and everyone will be back in the land of rainbows and unicorns and see-through jump suits.

That's right, you know I kept that bad boy, and will be sporting it every year as a tribute to Reston Hospital!

Cause the music is live like an electric shock
I am known to do the Wop
Also known for the Flintstone Flop
Tammy D getting biz on the crop
Beastie Boys known to let the beat...... drop