Brain Droppings

Good Friday! I came to the realization this morning that I am too old and too big to play Jesus in the re-enactment of the crucifixion. Not that I am religious in any way, nor have I ever wanted to participate in such an activity, but this is some of the weird shit I think about when I’m in the car alone. Do you think if Jesus had lived another 10 years or so he would have let himself go, kind of like Elvis? Would there be a debate as to what image of Jesus to use, old, fat Jesus or young, skinny Jesus? Michelangelo what are your plans for the Sistine Chapel? “Dude, it’s a big ceiling so I am going to go with the old, fat Jesus to cover more space, maybe put him on a plush, cross-shaped couch eating a greasy turkey leg and drinking some righteous wine.” And yes, it is a little known fact that Michelangelo was the Renaissance’s version of Jeff Spicolli.

Being Mr. Observant, I noticed for the first time that my dryer has a light inside of it. This struck me as a bit unnecessary. I don’t know about you crazy bitches, but I tend to do my laundry with the lights on. I’ve never been standing in front of my dryer going; “Are there clothes in there? Is that Amy’s underwear or a dryer sheet? Hello? I can’t see shit, if only this thing had a light in it.”

Before I fall asleep every night I have these weird thought progressions that usually end up with me asking Amy some random question. Last night I was thinking about having to refill the gumball machine on my desk with Reece’s Pieces, which led to E.T., which led to Drew Barrymore, which led to the documentary “My date with Drew” where the guy gave her a Snoopy Snow Cone machine, which led to thinking about what kind of dog Snoopy was, which led to beagles, which led me to Amy’s roommate in college who had a beagle, which led me to think about the time we went with her to a Billy Joel concert, which led to other concerts I saw in college which led to the random question:

Do you remember when we went to see Jimmy Buffet in college and that drunk chick beside us was blowing that guy in the rain? And he gave us a look like “I tried to stop her, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do”. Good times.

Finally, I’ll leave you with this gem:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1905976

Now, if you’ll excuse I need to beat the church traffic, so I can get my cheeseburger on at Fuddruckers.