1. I hate myself for watching Rock of Love on VH1, the same way that fat chicks hate themselves for eating an entire box of Krispy Kremes.
2. I tweeted on twitter using twhirl and it twasn’t all it’s twacked up to be.
3. My daughter is addicted to the chicken dance song, which means I have to listen to it over and over and over in the car. Not only do I have to listen to it, but I have to do the dance to appease the little one. Amusing for her, creepy for other drivers who can't see her through the tinted windows.
4. Having Comcast as my cable and internet provider makes me want to strangle kittens. Verizon Fios, you are on my speed dial as soon as hockey season is over.
5. When you and one other car are speeding together down the highway and a cop pulls out, it is always better when they pull the other guy over. Sorry, to the dude with the blue tooth headset in the silver Acura, but you got the short end of the stick.
6. Eating Long John Silvers twice in one day catches up with you… Arrrrgghhhh!
7. Anytime you are doing shots with strangers after 11:00 PM on a Thursday night, Friday is going to be one long ass day of struggling to survive.
8. I have to start watching what I do around Maggie. I faked a smack to Amy’s face with a plastic baseball bat and then Maggie proceeded to pick up the bat and beat Amy down like she was Rodney King.
9. Buying a digital camera that actually takes a picture without a 3 second delay is soooo worth the money. My porn site, I mean my pictures of my daughter are going to be so much better now.
10. At Chipotle the most underated protein is the Carnitas. Just because Jules from Pulp Fiction doesn't dig on swine, doesn't mean you can't enjoy some piggy. You can thank me later.
11. In a state of intoxication I rocked an old school boy band dance to “Poison” by Bell Biv Devoe, much the same as Turk did on Scrubs, except that I’m white and have no rhythm. I wonder how long this ‘L’ will be on my forehead.
12. The “Welcome to Virginia” signs might be the worst in the country. They have this stupid cardinal on them and they look like they were painted in some remedial art class at the state penitentiary. C’mon Virginia, tighten up and at least put something on the sign that represents the state like never-ending traffic or a drunk, frat guy smoking a cigarette.
13. It might be sad, but often my biggest challenge of the day is trying to come up with something witty for my Facebook status.
14. Panama by Van Halen is the greatest work out song of all time, and anyone who says otherwise is just fucking wrong!
15. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve driven on the PA turnpike when it hasn’t been raining or snowing.
16. Ever since I saw Mickey Mouse going off on the Jonas Brothers on South Park, I have a hard time watching the Mickey Mouse club with Maggie. I keep expecting him to lose his shit and tear Donald Duck a new asshole.
17. I just found out that my cousin’s brother-in-law is dating Ginnifer Goodwin AKA Margene from Big Love. I wonder what it would take to get him to bring her to Pittsburgh for 4th of July. Lucky bastard!
18. A guy on my team at work grew a Fu Manchu mustache. I’ve always wanted to shave down to that form, but one guy on the team with a Fu Manchu is sweet, two guys on the team with Fu Manchus and the Mrs. might start checking my pockets for receipts to the Backdoor Leather Company.
19. Maggie fell down a couple steps the other day and a small part of me wanted to say “See, I told you so”.
1 comment:
Good read the last few days. I will say that One Little Victory by Rush is a good workout song too. Not that I work out. And I can't make a post to your site without looking like that weird, obsessive guy about Rush. LOL.
-Chid
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