I'm So Excited, Or Am I?

There aren’t a lot of things that excite me anymore. I used to get excited over meeting bands or sports figures, but now it just seems kind of weird to go up to a twenty something to get an autograph or a picture. I get it, you can run fast or play guitar, but most of the idols we worship turn out to be douchebags anyway. (Ask my brother about Mike Doughty or Big Ben)

You know what else is overrated, being backstage. It’s usually just a bunch of industry people milling around a crusty old room that smells like sweat, stale beer and cigarettes. Granted, the times I was backstage were the glory days of grunge and not the halcyon days of hair metal, so maybe I missed the boat on that one. I’m not saying the flannel clad front man didn’t get the occasional hummer, I’m just saying he probably isn’t getting triple teamed by the captains of the Swedish Bikini Team while doing bumps off of the hood of a Ferrari.

However, there are a still few things get my juices flowing, like the words “inclement weather”. I enjoy watching people freak out when it snows. “Are the roads bad yet? Ooh I hope they don’t get icy”, “Should I stock up on a year’s supply of water and toilet paper?”, “I saw about 19 accidents on the way to work today.”. Did you? Sorry folks but 2”-4” of snow is not the end of the world, in fact you could probably clear your driveway with a broom instead of a shovel. Move to Chicago or Denver for a few years and then come back to DC/Baltimore and you’ll realize what a bunch of pussies you are. Finally, if you can’t make your car go faster than 10 miles an hour, please do everyone a favor and leave it in the garage.

Another thing that I can still get excited about are sports. When I left the company dinner early to watch the Steelers AFC Championship game, I was talking to this girl who couldn’t believe that anyone would miss dinner for a game. She said “I will never marry ‘that’ guy, when we sit down to dinner the game will be off.” Whatever works for you, but every guy I’ve met that isn’t into sports is usually a complete tool, and if he doesn’t like sports and doesn’t own an iPod, then the odds of him being a total fucking dial tone are pretty high. But hey, at least he’ll sit there, eat his meatloaf and keep his mouth shut while you drone on and on about your spinning class and the amazing salad you had for lunch at Whole Foods.

I will be attending my first Super Bowl this weekend, and hopefully Pittsburgh will come away with its record breaking sixth Lombardi Trophy. A big thank you goes out to my Uncle Wayne for the hook up. I will have to blog about him someday, because he is a character worthy of a post or two. I love waking up on game day, throwing on the jersey and heading out to watch the game, and this Sunday is definitely worth getting excited about.

The final thing I want to touch on doesn’t fall into the category of exciting or not exciting, it’s just something I noticed that irks me. The numbers on a standard keyboard are the opposite of how they are on a standard telephone. When I wore a younger man’s clothes I used to do data entry and now my brain is trained to use the numbers on a keyboard, so when I try and dial the telephone without looking I almost always jack it up. The telephone obviously came first, so I’m wondering why they decided to make things difficult on a keyboard? It appears that no one really knows, but here are some theories.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go sweep my driveway while wearing my Steelers jersey and listening to my iPod.

HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!