Spamalot

We all get it, we all delete it, but do we ever just read it for fun? I'm talking about spam. I decided to go through all my spam and really take the time to read the offers, that I will never take advantage of. Here is some of the spam I've received recently.


1. CLICK HERE TO MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!!!
This ad evokes a lot of questions for me. If you date these Christian chicks will they make you see God? Was it in the book of Genesis after Eve ate the apple, that she started wearing short-shorts and high heals? Wasn't the 11th commandment, "Thou shalt not meet hot christian chicks online"? There better be a link to an online confessional, because after visiting this site you will definitely have some impure thoughts.

2. Click Here to start your career in CSI

From the looks of this guy, it's pretty likely that the only crime scene you'll be investigating is trying to find out who stole the new Ludacris CD from the FYE at the mall. Sorry dexter wannabes, there will be no blood splatter work for you!

3. Click Here to Get started today with Black Singles

You know what they say, once you go black...your parents disown you. That doesn't sound right, maybe it's once you go black...you better have back, or could it be that once you go black...you get your rhythm back. Not sure if it's true, but Maggie was bitten by a little black boy at daycare and the next day she started doing her booty dance. Coincidence?

4. Loudon Music festival presents KC and the Sunshine band.

Hmm, I think this offer is about 30 years too late. I will not be putting on my-my-my boogie shoes. I will not be doing a little dance or making a little love and I most certainly won't be getting down tonight. So you can Shake, Shake, Shake your booty without me, because that is not the way I like it, but thanks for the offer.

5. Get a 3 piece KitchenAid set - Find out how!

Pretty tempting, a free coffee maker, mixer and a blender. You know how I got my free kitchen appliances? I got married. And I didn't have to give up all of my personal information and participate in various other offers to get them either.

I didn't receive any penis enlarging emails this month. I guess the spammers know I'm married, so if they helped me make my penis bigger, I would also need some pills to enhance the size of my right hand. I hope that these offers might help one of you out there. If you're looking for an African-American, Christian who's into cooking and CSI-Mall of America edition, then click the links above and if you're lucky you'll be grooving to some KC & the Sunshine Band at your wedding.