I'm a Pool Hall Ace

We've all been there, listening to a familiar song with a family member or friend when they launch into lyrics that pull the trigger in your brain that says "Hey, those aren't the right words". I used to work with a guy at Shakey's Pizza in Cockeyville, MD who got the lyrics to every song wrong, and it used to drive me crazy, but I guess those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Over the years Amy has called me on more misheard lyrics than I can possibly remember, so here is a list of a few of my more memorable gaffs.

Artist: The Police
Song: Every Breath You Take
Misheard Lyrics: I'm a pool hall ace
Correct Lyrics: How my poor heart aches
Notes: I just thought that Sting decided to put in some self aggrandizing bravado about his billiard prowess into the middle of this song for no apparent reason, but it made sense to me.

Artist: The Verve Pipe
Song: The Freshman
Misheard Lyrics: I cannot believe we'd ever got forty cents we were merely freshman
Correct Lyrics: I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins we were merely freshman
Notes: Dude! I can't believe we actually got a quarter, a dime and a nickel! Even though we're students we're rich bitches!

Artist: Metallica
Song: Enter Sandman
Misheard Lyrics: Amstel light, Enter night, take my hand, off to never never-land
Correct Lyrics: Exit light, Enter night, take my hand, off to never never-land
Notes: When this song came out I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The bad boys of metal were endorsing a light weight girly beer in the chorus of their hit single. What a bunch of pussies.

Artist: Elton John
Song: Tiny Dancer
Misheard Lyrics: Hold me closer Tony Danza, Count the headlights on the highway, Lay me down cuz she's winning, you had a busy day today
Correct Lyrics: Hold me closer tiny dancer, Count the headlights on the highway, Lay me down in sheets of linen, you had a busy day today
Notes: Those headlights can be scary, you definitely want the Boss holding you close in a time like that. (Ok, I know those aren't the right lyrics, but Tony Danza is a lot more fun to sing than Tiny Dancer) Then, I guess he needed to lay down because she's winning. Despite her busy day she's still able to whip his ass.

Artist: Duran Duran
Song: Rio
Misheard Lyrics: I smell like a sow, I'm lost in a crowd, and Im hungry like the wolf
Correct Lyrics: Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd, and Im hungry like the wolf
Notes: I think my version actually makes more sense, but apparently he doesn't smell like a female pig, he smells like he sounds, which is good or bad depending on your opinion. I think he sounds like a pompous ass, so I guess he smells like a fancy old lady with a hint of underlying sweaty butt.

There you have it, some of my personal misheard lyrics. Chid left a couple in the comments section of the previous post if you want to check those out. Or if you have a some good ones leave me a comment. Also, there are a few sites dedicated to these gems, so Google misheard lyrics if you want more.