Back on the Wagon

The pressure has been mounting for weeks now, and I've been trying to avoid it, but it may be time to put down the Big Macs, pizza, fries & shakes and pick up the grilled chicken and veggies. It's one thing to look down in the shower and not see your penis, it's another when your feet start to slowly disappear.

Now, I'm not saying I'm totally out of shape, but getting from the first to third floors in my house is like an Everest expedition. I use our baby monitor system to coordinate my efforts with the family. "Hey, I'm at base camp and I'm looking to make it up to the second floor by dark. Please have my oxygen tanks ready, because after dinner I may try to summit the third floor."

I've gone through the whole weight loss process in the past. I went from 225 down to 180 and I felt great, but it took a great deal of discipline and work ethic, two things that don't exactly come easily to me. It's really difficult to say the words "No Dairy Queen for me, I'm fine with this celery." But the summer is fast approaching, and while I don't need to look like Marky Mark during the Funky Bunch days, I'd rather not look like George the Animal Steele when laying by the pool.







C'mon, c'mon. Feel It! Feel It!










Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!








Amy has been doing the Weight Watchers program for a couple months now and she has toned up nicely. She's one of those annoying people who can eat like shit for months and only gain a pound or two, whereas, if I even look at a beer my belly button doubles in size.

Quickfire challenge: Please prepare 3 large belly button jokes. You have 30 seconds... and go!

1. Erik's belly button is so big, that when Amy tried to do a body shot, she drowned.
2. Erik's belly button is so big, even Fonzie wouldn't try to jump it on his motorcycle.
3. Erik's belly button is so big, they had to tie a board to John Holme's ass, so he didn't fall in.

Judges Decision: Oooh sorry, but we're going to have to disqualify you, because it's not 1975. Those lines would have been funny, if Laverne and Shirley were still on the air. If you changed Fonzie to Johnny Knoxville and John Holmes to Peter North, maybe we could have given you some current reference points.

Ok, I'm going to wrap this up, eat my final handfull of Peanut M&M's, and setup a pulley system so that I can climb back on the wagon.

Wish me luck!